PROCRASTINATION - The Wall I Hide Behind

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. ~Author Unknown

For almost twenty years my husband ran his own business. During that time I ran his office, raised two children, and held a part-time job myself. It was imperative that I kept a routine, and though not rigid, it was a steady routine.

Today I am self-employed; my main focus is the promotion of Bittleberry Books and marketing our first independently published children’s book, as well as to continue working on the novel I have started. We are empty nesters now and my time commitments are only as complicated as I want them to be. So I have to ask myself, “Why, for the past two months, has the first draft of my novel been stuck at 162 pages?”

The answer, as I am only too aware, is that I have built a wall, plastering it with layer upon layer of procrastination. I have to pay the bills, get groceries, go to the bank, do laundry and dishes, change the bedding and, oh yeah, my toenails need painting. The excuses are never ending.

There is a Spanish proverb that goes “Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.” I have allowed that to become the truth of my writing life. Tomorrow I will do the rewriting of the second children’s book; tomorrow I will write a new blog; tomorrow I will work on the novel. Problem is, tomorrow is just that day that never seems to arrive.

I heard somewhere, possibly during one of those afternoons that I had to watch Oprah, it takes at least 21 days to become comfortable with a new habit. So, for that reason, I have decided that today I will make a schedule and for the next month I will live by it. If at the end of a month I find that the schedule needs tweaking, for any reason, I will make the necessary changes and again, I will live by the revised schedule for another month before any further tweaking may be done.

I have discovered that being my own boss is, by far, a more difficult task than dealing with an external employer. When I was employed outside the home the only free time I had was evenings and weekends. I had no trouble, at that time, coming home and working for six hours on the Synni book. Several times I became so immersed in the project I had to force myself to quit and go to bed so I would be able to drag my sorry butt out of bed next morning for my day job. Yet now I find myself with a whole week stretched out ahead of me and I am struggling to put in a productive day.

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

I am tired of disappointing myself; tired of letting the days slip by without accomplishing something that is so very important to me. I love to write. I can loose myself for hours once I get started. So the question is, “How do I make that happen?” First of all, I need to quit reinforcing the wall and in fact, begin tearing it down. I will schedule in the chores of my life that need to be completed and I will schedule in the hours of my employment, when I will sit at my keyboard and I will write. Once I find myself on the other side of that restrictive wall I am hoping to discover not only that I can be the toughest boss I have ever encountered, but also that my fearless future lies in front of me.


Cheryl is the author of Little Synni’s Moonlight Mischief, the first book in The Stibil Forest Adventures, illustrations by Chris Jammer.