FEEL THE FEAR, then believe in yourself.

It is fear that makes us cautious and teaches us respect for the unknown. Fear compels us to ask questions, enabling us to make wise choices. Even in the most benign situations it is advisable to address our fears. Then, it is up to each of us to conquer or safely remove the fears standing in our path and move forward.

That was the situation I found myself in last fall. Following a classroom reading, the teacher ended our session by thanking us for reading our story and answering the children's questions about writing, illustrating, and publishing our storybook. He expressed his opinion that it was a very good tale, and we were sure to do well with it. One of the young boys from our audience piped up saying "You are going to be bigger than Dr. Seuss". As pleased as I was by his impression of our book, I instantly felt like an impostor and fear engulfed me.

In the months that followed I would repeat that story to others, always with a tag-line such as, "Wouldn't that be nice?" or "If only", each time making a joke of it. What else could I do? My fear was that someone might think that I actually believed I was as talented as Dr. Seuss. I feared that someone would come forward stating that, though the illustrations for the book were excellent, the writing was sadly lacking.

One of the hardest things for me to believe is that I am a writer. How can anybody place themselves in such a category when it encompasses the likes of Hemingway, Michener, Atwood, and Picoult? Who was I to believe I had earned this title. However, the definition of a writer according to Oxford is: 1. a person who writes or has written something; one who writes in a specified way. 2. a person who writes books etc., an author.

I am now in my fifties and, though I have had very little formal training, I have been writing since I was eleven years old. I have to believe that makes me a writer. Whether or not I am a worthy writer will be for my editors and readers to decide, and I realize there will always be differing opinions of that status.

What I know today is that I am very proud of the work we have done and of the book we produced. I know that I have learned a lot in the past two years and I believe I have much more to learn. Do I believe I am the next Dr. Seuss? Not at all, but it warms my heart and encourages me to know there is a little boy out there who, for a moment in time, believed just that.

Cheryl is the author of Little Synni's Moonlight Mischief, the first book in The Stibil Forest Adventures, illustrations by Chris Jammer.
The Stibil Forest Adventures